Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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