your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
