She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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