i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
