He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
