you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
