i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
