I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
