drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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