his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
