Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
