I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Girls should come with a carfax report
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
