u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
