The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
