Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
