first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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