Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
