i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
