be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
No stitches, just platelets and will power
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
