It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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