I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
