Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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