I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We left the knife in your bed.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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