I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
