I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
