Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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