I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
