So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
