She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
