I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just forgot I was standing up.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
