super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
