i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
