Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
