It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
