singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
