Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
