i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
my poor anus
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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