..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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