Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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