my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
