I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
