I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
