I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
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