Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
