we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My life is pants optional.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
