the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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