I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
