My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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