you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
