Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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